kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea
I think the biggest turn on is knowing you turned someone else on.
sometimes I kiss people I shouldn’t kiss and let them unbutton my jeans sometimes I leave English class without asking and walk in angular circles until I can hear the blood rushing under my skin sometimes I run until I can’t breathe sometimes I sit in the rain sometimes I sleep for six hours in the middle of the day
sometimes I drive too fast and listen to my music so loud that it hurts sometimes I drink until everything goes black and I don’t remember talking about you all night (even though I do)
sometimes I cry about books and about people who died hundreds of years ago sometimes I don’t cry even though I want to more than anything sometimes I ignore the people I love sometimes hold myself to keep everything in because you are not here to do it
sometimes I think I’m alive sometimes I think I probably never will be
So I do love you and want to go back.
What does that say? That I am less? Or I am more?
I will never know what it means to be next to you or in the crowd of screams.
Or what it means to touch gold and then have it ripped away from me.